Building a better relationship

Relationships take work.

Anyone who says they don’t is probably either a romance novelist or a jingle writer.

One of the biggest threats to longevity in relationships is unrealistic expectations, perhaps from believing that the head-over-heels, whipped-cream-on-top excitement of the “honeymoon period” would last forever. Or that our special someone should “just know” what it is that would make us happy. Or that our partner must “not care” because he or she did something thoughtless and hurt our feelings. Wherever the unrealistic expectations come from, it’s important to be able to recognize them and put them into perspective. The reality is that ALL relationships take work – whether it’s with our neighbor, our boss, our mother, or our partner of six months or sixty years. The sooner we accept that effort is necessary to a healthy and functioning relationship, the sooner we can take action to improve ours.

So what’s first?

As we’ve said, there are no quick fixes. However, taking specific steps each day will move things in the right direction – and the great part about those steps is that they build on each other to create a foundation of trust and security.

So here’s today’s step for your partner relationship:

Make your special someone feel appreciated. How you do this is up to you. It may be as simple as a sweet text or email, or a hug and a word of thanks. Or it may be a bit more elaborate, such as a special meal or dessert prepared by you, or taking over one of your partner’s responsibilities without being asked. You may be surprised the response you get. And who knows … you may even get a gesture of appreciation in return.

by Tracy Mallett, Psy.D., Licensed Psychologist, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

This entry was posted on Monday, August 6th, 2012 at 9:52 pm and is filed under Couples. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.